Change your ways while you’re young

I told myself that I would not let this blog go down with only 2 entries published. I have this bad habit of leaving things unfinished and just hanging, much like a toenail that hangs, which is kind of painful when you have to rip it off. So my new goal is to finish things that I start. I’ve been trying to figure out why I have this tendency and I suppose it may be related to the fact that no one ever pushed me to do things when I was growing up. I was always shy and never got involved in much, except for a couple of years when I played basketball. Other than that, I was always sort of in my own world where I was never forced to do things I did not want to do. Obviously someone has been doing some soul searching… *this girl right here*

I’m finishing up a psychology course with the University of Phoenix, only because I know that the college I will attend in the fall will accept the transfer of these credits. I truly cannot wait until I’m back in a regular school setting where I really have to push myself to accomplish my goals. Hopefully I’ll finally have my bachelor degree completed within a year from my start date in the fall. After that is finished I’m definitely dedicating my energies toward getting my MSW. This is where I may start freaking out a bit because hey, I know it won’t be easy. But nothing that is worth it is easy, right?

My next update will include a bit about how I plan to change a few things in my life in order to facilitate these goals. Stay tuned…

 On a side note, my musical obsession right now is the amazingly talented Ella Fitzgerald. Her version of Over the Rainbow might just be my favorite sound in the world. My mom thinks I should have been born in the 1920s. She may be onto something here…

My hopes are so high

I usually start a new blog and then give up on it after the first or second post.  This is officially my second post, so we’re off to a good start.

One of the colleges I’m hoping to attend starting in the summer has received my application and now they’re just waiting for my transcript from my current school. My fear is that they won’t be taking a lot of the credits I’ve already completed, but we shall see how that plays out. Maybe God will show mercy on this college transfer addict.

The school I currently take classes with is through the University of Phoenix (online). Speaking with my academic counselor yesterday was possibly one of the most annoying conversations I’ve ever been a party to. The counselors there are basically glorified salespeople. She tried every possible way to convince me to stay with them. She even went as far as saying most schools will accept a bachelor of social work from their online program. So of course I did my research…

My hope is to get into NYU or Columbia’s graduate program after completing my bachelors. On Columbia’s website it clearly states that in most cases they do not accept credits from online programs. Well any reputable school should not accept most credits from this online program. I’ve turned in final papers and received my grade back within five minutes. What does this tell me? No one is really reading assignments. Also, feeling like your “professor” just graduated from elementary school does not leave one with a warm, tingly feeling inside. Oh well, lesson learned?

I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, though, like I have a tendency to do. My goal for now is to solidify where I will be finishing my bachelors. I also need to get some social work related experience under my belt while maintaining perfect grades if I have any shot at NYU or Columbia.

So here’s to living in the moment, but also looking ahead to the future! For the moment I’d like it to start snowing so we can all go home early and I can finish reading Eat Pray Love!

Check your pulse

I’ve been in a self exploration phase recently and sort of spending a lot of time in my head. I think it’s a natural process that comes with getting out of your early 20’s and realizing life isn’t just about YOU. Then again, in my mind I feel as though I’m closer to my early 30s.

I started this journey into self exploration close to a year ago. When you’re not even 16 and your doctor puts you on antidepressants that make you numb, it is only after coming off of them that you start to really experience life. So my journey began when I told my doctor, “hey man, I want to have feelings and emotions. Take me off of this crap!” When you’ve been emotionally sterile for a years at a time, feeling everything again seems like a gift. And it truly is a gift! I believe that God intended us to have emotions – the good and the bad.

Where I was once just going along with life and just letting it happen to me, now I’m trying to really take more control of things and be proactive. Of course the question that this boils down to is: What do I truly want to do with my life? Since graduating high school I’ve gone from not having any clue as to what I wanted to be… to thinking I was going to major in business and just stay in the family company… oh yeah, and then switching my major to communications because how cool would it be to work on television shows and meet celebrities?

After realizing all of these ideas were unfulfilling, I started to look deeper into who I really am. The one thing I’ve always wanted to do in my life is make a difference in this world. I’ve always possessed this yearning to help others, I just didn’t know how that would translate to a career. Oooo scary word – “career!” So the good news is I think I’ve finally figured out who I want to be and where this will lead me. Any guesses?

If you guessed in the general category of social work then you were right. For everyone who did not guess right, don’t worry. There’s no prize for the people who did get it right. Suckers!

My self exploration led me to social work for a few reasons. The main reason is because social work is a field that is entirely dependent on one’s desire to help others. In general, people do not become social workers to make millions of dollars. I’ve done tons of research on social work programs and I feel as though a specialization in health care policy or child development is where I will eventually find myself.

With all of that said, I’ve changed the objective and tone of this blog to really become an outline and journal to document my foray into the realm of social work. I know that many young adults my age are still trying to figure out what they really hope to do with their lives. I hope that my experiences can help others see that they are not the only ones feeling this way, and eventually we all end up where we are supposed to be. The journey is the destination!